“I am a 45 year old woman with three children and I lead a healthy life. I cook my meals at home, my kids eat healthy organic meals and I exercise three times a week. I don’t smoke or drink, and I meditate too. But my husband is a complete disaster. He doesn’t exercise and splurges on junk food daily, and eats out too frequently. How do I galvanise him to make improved lifestyle decisions, exercise frequently and eat ‘healthy’?
Dear Mrs. Disaster,
This is a tricky one. When it comes to people in general, and married couples especially, you will find that men are truly from Mars and women from Venus. The biggest mistake any woman can make is to believe that she can change her husband after marrying him – nor should she want to…however admirable her intentions may be.
The Male Psyche
The reason is that men think and react differently than women do. While a woman might feel she is being thoughtful and caring in looking after her man, he might feel imposed upon and caged, and will most probably end up feeling resentful. If you are not careful and try to mother him, you will probably receive a child-like reaction or response from him. He will resist the changes you are trying to make although they are for his own good. So, I would suggest that you bring the change about diplomatically.
The Action Plan
Encourage an activity that all the family members can get involved in, and enjoy. And what’s better than taking advantage of the good weather right now in Dubai and planning an out-door activity; such as a fund-raising ‘Fun Run’ for a school or a cause, or an activity as simple as family cycling together. With the newly opened Al Qudra cycle path, and Al Shaba cycle Path that should not be a problem. The latter also has a children’s proficiency course. Your husband might just find out how unfit he is when he sees that the rest of the family are just doing fine.
Enlist A Trainer
My second suggestion is to recruit the professional help of another male – a personal trainer with the people’s skills and professional know-how to whip your husband into shape. I have witnessed members of my own family and close friends change in attitude and fitness levels. Give him six weeks, and your husband will experience a similar change.
“I recommend Dubai’s own Lee Heywood, freelance international personal trainer (check him on Instagram HeywoodL); who has a unique approach to fitness and sees it as an expressive art form – the body as art in motion. Each session varies in nature and intensity (Lee’s personal brand is ‘Kaizen’, Japanese for ‘always improving’) and your husband will be galvanised to continue.”
Appeared in The Life Coach – March 2015 New You Magazine
©SaharHuneidi-Plamer 2017. Please subscribe to my podcasts on iTunes