Sometimes when what happens in life keeps on repeating itself, living seems to be an endless uphill struggle; as though life itself is against you. You take it personally. Well, my life has taught me that there is wisdom behind repeated patterns, or events. However, the first thing you must do is not to surrender to negative emotions; because the truth is Life is not against you. In fact, it is life’s way of giving you yet another chance to get rid of, sort out once and for all, beliefs, issues, people, and patterns that you have either outgrown, or that they no longer serve you. Just like throwing out old furniture!
Please focus on three concepts:
- Your life is your own movie. If you do not like ‘the movie’, change the script. Change your beliefs; they will change your life’s experience.
- Life is already perfect: there is a built-in feedback loop to intelligence as it grows and evolves. Whatever doesn’t work, or no longer serves a purpose has to be thrown out, or discarded; so the evolution can continue. So, although you may not like what is happening to you; it’s often to improve your life and not ruin it. Just like throwing out old furniture or old clothes that no longer fit!
- Change starts with you. Beliefs attract situations to confirm their validity. Change your beliefs and your life experiences will. Scientist Itzahak Bentov* believed, that our brains do not produce thoughts, but are devices for amplifying them. Be aware of what beliefs go into your brain, screen false statements and stick to your truths.
Newton’s laws state, that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. When you have an inner conflict, you will attract conflict. How many times did you catch yourself saying: ‘I believe my partner does not love me enough’, no one appreciates me at work, essentially ‘Poor me’, I am a victim’… etc.
Therefore, keep in mind the following:
- If your life seems disappointing, recognise that you do have a choice now, and use it.
- Allow your past to teach you how to positively influence the present.
- Any ‘drama’ we experience starts with our personal beliefs.
- We react emotionally, in order to learn and grow and develop our self-awareness.
If your ‘dramas’ are frequent and painful, then it is time to ask yourself:
- What is it within me that is generating a conflict?
- Do I have two sets of beliefs that are equally strong, but contradict each other? Let’s see some hands now: ‘I really want true love’, but at the same time ‘I know I’ll never find it!’ get the point?
- Am I treating myself as I expect others to? Imagine you are your best friend. Love yourself first –before you can love anyone else.
How to change your Script
- Find a quiet moment where you are can sit relaxed, with a paper and pad; light a candle, play your favourite relaxing music, then:
- Start listing your entire ‘negative’ or limiting beliefs about you, your life and others in your life. Write them down one column of the sheet of paper.
- Once you feel they are all down, start rewriting each belief down the opposite column, into a positive statement in the present tense. These will be your new beliefs or affirmations.
- Now, over the next few weeks start your day, and end it, by repeating each new affirmation several times, multiples of threes will be most effective.
- Start by saying them out loud, while looking into your eyes in a mirror. This may make you feel silly, but it is a sure way of reaching your inner mind! Repeat them until you no longer experience resistance (or feel self-conscious).
- Next, carry your new beliefs around so they are readily accessible. I even went to the extent of sticking my new beliefs on coloured post-it notes all around the flat, on bathroom mirror, behind doors, etc.
- Later on, you can replace the post-it notes with smaller more discreet blank coloured stickers, placed on any spot you look at frequently. Each colour represents a new belief, and each sticker act as a bombarding reminder to your brain.
- Work on no more than three new beliefs at a time, it is easier for the brain to accept them. Then, move on to the next three, and so on.
Perhaps you would like to consider or adapt the following affirmations, which have worked for me:
No matter what happens, I will create no more pain for myself,
I will create no more problems. My life is full of joy.
Reclaim your power now. The future you yearn for is literally in your hands. Find out what beliefs are not serving you, and change them. You will experience more joy and less pain in your life. Remember, once the lesson is learnt, your situation will change.
© Sahar Huneidi