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Taking Control of Your Life

Lack of control or helplessness leads to depression. When you take control, you can be in command of those changes rather than letting them command your life.

Life is constantly changing and our lifestyles change with it. There are two types of lifestyle changes: involuntary and voluntary. We can say that involuntary lifestyle changes also fall into two categories. First is the inevitable, like growing up, ageing and health; the second is social, economical or political changes like, the credit crunch we are now experiencing. Voluntary lifestyle changes include changes we elect to go through such as marriage, having children, going into full-time education, moving home, and so on.

Embracing change

Whether the change you are now experiencing is voluntary or involuntary, one thing always remains true: change is about growing and adapting. When you take control, you can be in command of those changes rather than letting them command your life. In other words, you are aware enough to recognise that an aspect or a cycle of your life has changed and requires addressing, which may include adapting to this new circumstance.


Lifestyle changes can also be about learning how to be flexible so you can manage your lifestyle, adapt and grow because of it. In fact, this change may lead you to a better way of living or managing your life. Even when the ride is bumpy and you think that chances are involuntary (or inevitable), try not to think of yourself as a victim or you will become one. For example, you may think that poor health is inevitable, but changes in diet and lifestyle (taking more exercise or reducing smoking and drinking) can improve health. If you make the right choices to adapt and change your lifestyle, you are managing your lifestyle change to a more positive state.

Take responsibility

Lack of control or helplessness leads to depression. When you are out of options, you feel desperate, like there is nothing you can do; you fall victim to your circumstance and begin a downward spiral. You should plan to deal with the changes in your life and try not to leave things to others, even your parents, husband, government, and so on. However bad a change may look at first, planning can improve the odds, even though it may not remove the problem. When you develop a plan, you are taking control of things.

The late Jade Goody is an inspirational example of this. She courageously took control of her life even when she knew she was dying. If you like, she imposed her own solution on events to arrive at a better outcome for her children and family. A change of lifestyle can teach you to be more flexible and more resilient. When you take responsibility, face up to those changes and develop a plan to adapt, it helps you to grow and to feel better about yourself. You are then taking charge of life, not just living.

Dear Lauren,

How wonderful for you! This may represent a great opportunity to take charge of your life and explore new avenues. An old friend of mine, Emma, has just moved to the country after living in London for a long time. She told me that although she was afraid of feeling lonely, especially as she is single, she has made many new friends and picked up new hobbies, too. Another friend, Jemima, moved to the country with her family and started making her own organic chutney.

I feel that you like so many of us (myself included), are experiencing what a new cycle in your life demands: making a move back to harmony and balance. I can tell you from experience that when you grow spiritually or become more aware, you sense that you and your body need new surroundings. In fact, some people tend to put on weight until they move to the right environment, and then their body weight goes back to normal! You may have felt the need to be near nature and to live in more harmonious surroundings.

Whether you are single or with a family, try to grow your own food: get an allotment from the council or dig up part of your garden if you have one and grow your own organic crops or herbs. This in itself is very grounding, plus it gives you an opportunity to exercise and eat healthier food. You will find plenty of country enthusiasts who will be only too happy to offer you guidance and help you to enjoy your new country home.

© Copyright Sahar Huneidi

About Sahar Huneidi-Palmer (83 Articles)
Author, Columnist, Holistic Therapist & Personal Mentor helping my clients achieve a happy fulfilled life since 1992. I am a published poet and play the piano. My friends and those who know me describe me as a “wise woman” and a "pathfinder". I am passionate about demystifying the abstract, writing, teaching, podcasting, and love Turkish coffee!

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